IS IT APPROPRIATE FOR A CHRISTIAN TO SEEK COUNSELING?

QUESTION:
Is it appropriate for Christians to receive counseling?  Many of you are thinking,"why is he even asking that question."  Is seeking counseling a sign of your lack of faith?  Does your church encourage or discourage seeking counseling?

WHAT IS COUNSELING?
The counseling process is not that complex of an endeavor.  It is a process in which a person, who experiencing some type of emotional, spiritual discomfort, seeks help to alleviate the discomfort. Counseling can be provided to an individual, family, or a group.  There are counselors who specialize in marriage, children, geriatrics, Christians, finances, law, etc.

When the client enters the counseling process , with a counselor,  they are entering into an agreement with each other.  The counselor agrees to be ethical, honest, confidential and  having the clients best interest at heart. The client is committing to being  a open, honest active participant in the counseling process.  The counselor can only respond to information given by the client, so if the client holds back valuable, helpful information the process is doomed. 

The counseling process entails the counselor being a active listener, intense observer watching for any contradictions in verbal and non verbal communications. I like to use the analogy of alphabet soup when describing the emotional condition of many clients at the start of counseling.  They have all these letters, in their heads but can't make heads or tales out of them.  As they begin to talk, receive feedback, and reflect, these letters become words, ideas, concepts and no longer soup of random letters.

COUNSELING VERSUS PSYCHOTHERAPY:
Many time these two terms are used interchangeably among some writers.  I see counseling as addressing the challenges of everyday life.  I see it dealing with stress, anger, anxiety, worry, grief, relationships, crisis, motivation, as well as spiritual issues.  The goal of counseling is personal, emotional and spiritual growth and the alleviation of discomfort.  I see psychotherapy as dealing with things such as schizophrenia, bipolar, severe depression, suicidal ideation, and other things related the brain chemistry. In counseling we deal with the "worried well" those just having difficulties with the day to day challenges of life.

PASTORAL COUNSELING/LAY COUNSELING:
Pastoral counseling is counseling that is provided by the pastoral staff of the local church. I view Pastoral Counseling as one of he pilliars of pastoral care.  It is just as imprtant as vising the sick and other pastoral care duties. It is important that Pastors receive formal training in Christian Counseling in order to provide competent counseling to the membership.  There is a disconnect when a Pastor preaches and teaches that the solution for all one's problems are found in the scriptures and in prayer.  Then one day a member goes to the Pastor with problems and says," Pastor I am having these problems, show me how the scriptures can help me". The Pastor tell the member that he wants to refer them for counseling.  The Pastor is indirectly saying, I don't know how to apply scriptures to your problems. Why do they have to go else where?  Many Pastors who attempt to counsel, without training, often make situations worst.  All individuals who are called should be trained! I once offered a Christian Counseling Class and only one minister attended.

Lay counseling is done every day in some capacity in every congregation through the country. Lay counseling is when a sister sits and listen to another sister talk about her family, her marriage, or her children.  Lay counseling is the art of using common sense when communicating with another person.  I had 9 ladies from various churches attend my Christian Counseling class and receive their certification

CHRISTIAN COUNSELING:
Christian counseling like lay and pastoral counseling has its roots in the scriptures.  It is a philosophy, a special way of looking at life. Christian Counseling is patiently correcting, rebuking,encouraging an teaching the people.(2 Timmothy 4:2 ) The scriptures show us what is true and make us realize what is wrong, it straighten us out and teaches us to do what is right. (2 Timmothy 3:14-15 )  This should be the core belief of Pastoral and Christian Counselors.  A Christian Counselor has a personal relationship with Christ and a secular counselor may not.  A Christian Counselor believes that sin, in one's life can cause stress, depression, unhappiness, and emotional instability.  The Christian Counselor will use scripture explanations, problem specific prayers, spiritual discernment, homework, art, journaling, relaxation exercise, support groups, and music as counseling tools.

For many years I was a counselor who happen to be a Christian.  In 2005 I was transformed and became a Christian Counselor. I realized that I had this vast knowledge of psychological theory and a basic Sunday school knowledge of scriptures.  How could I call myself a Christian Counselor? I decide to enroll in a doctorate program in Christian Counseling so that I knew as much about theology as I knew about psychology. In 2006 I was certified by the ,American Association of Christian Counselors, as a Board Certified Professional Christian Counselor.

HISTORY OF ACCEPTANCE OF COUNSELING BY LOCAL BLACK CHURCH'S:
The local Black Church has a history of not  been very accepting of the idea of their members seeking counseling.  The more progressive churches preferred to send their members to Caucasian counselors rather than local Black Counselors.  Many churches had their members believing that seeking counseling showed a lack of faith and displeasing to God.  These same churches were teaching that one was not saved if they didn't speak in tongues, and that Christians could loose their salvation.  I sat in services where the pastor preached against seeking counseling, telling the membership that all they needed was faith.  Did you know that the term counsel is mentioned 182 times in the Bible?

I feel the attitudes, in the local churches, are much better today than the 70's-90's the periods I mentioned above. However, I am not sure if there has been any increase in pastoral counselor training.  A recent survey showed that most people rather receive counseling from their church than any other place because of their comfort level with the church.  What do we do with this information, all of us retired social workers, school counselors, therapist, sitting quietly in the church?

WHO SHOULD SEEK COUNSELING/COACHING:
I have entered a new term "Coaching" here. To me Counseling and Coaching are the same thing.  For many the term coaching is more acceptable than counseling.  Coaches help emotionally health people strive to reach their goals in life.  The Coach is like a cheer leader, motivator, who help individuals develop and pursue goals. They are there to give you that gentle nudge when you get stuck.  They are always telling you that you can do it. That through Christ all things are possible.

Anyone who feels stuck, feeling that they are just spinning their wheels, and is feeling that God wants them to do better than they are doing, should seek counseling/coaching.  If you find yourself feeling depressed, anxious, unmotivated, enjoying life less and less then you should see someone.If you are having problems in your marriage,  your spiritual life, your children or other relationships you should talk to someone.

QUALIFICATIONS OF A CHRISTIAN COUNSELOR:
The qualifications for Pastoral Counseling,in the Black Church, depends upon the specific requirements of that specific denomination. Counseling within the framework of the church is not constrained by state licensing laws.  Most experts believe that to be competent, to counsel, one should have several classes in counseling and some hours of internship under an experience counselor.  The majority run churches require graduate degrees in Christian Counseling before you are allowed to counsel.  I personally don't feel that a graduate degree is necessary, but mentor ship by an experienced counselor is a must.

Those counselors who counsel outside the church are required to have a minimum of a masters degree, 3000 hours of internship, then pass a written state examination.

WHERE SHOULD I SEEK COUNSELING?
If you feel comfortable with your Pastor I would start with them. They may feel that they can handle the situation or they may know a referral source. Most of your insurance companies have a list of counselors who have identified themselves as Christian Counselors.  However most of them are counselors who happen to be Christians.

I don't want to forget the wonderful informal lay counseling done by women in the church with each other.  This has bee a valuable uncelebrated, and unrecognized gift to the church all through out Black Church history,  The church needs more support groups such as grief, single parents, divorce, widows, and geriatric, celebrating serenity, and health and exercise groups.