The Core Of The Christian Faith: The Forgiving Christian! Part I

The concept of "forgiveness" is often mentioned but hardly ever taught.  It is a very difficult concept to teach, because most don't understand the breath  and dept of this action commanded by Jesus.  The word forgive is mentioned 48 times in the scriptures and the concept is mentioned 116 times. We all have said the Lords Prayer in which we repeat  "And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors."  Have we really considered what this statement means?  We are telling the Lord that we understand that our forgiveness, by Him, is dependent on our act of forgiving others! (Matthew 6:12)  In Luke 6:37 Jesus says "Forgive, and you shall be forgiven."  In Mark 11:25  Jesus tells us that we must not hold anything against anyone while we pray, if we want our prayers answered.. Would you agree that the Lord's forgiveness is conditional?

In order to approach the study of a subject one must be able to define it.  Too often we Christian teachers, preachers quote scriptures by memory without knowing what they actually mean.  So lets start this discussion by giving a definition to the term "forgiveness".  Wikipedia defines "forgiveness", as a process of concluding resentment, indignation, or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistakes, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution."  The Oxford English Dictionary defines "forgiveness" as to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on the account of an offense or debt."

Katherin Piderman, Ph.D, staff chaplain at Mayo Clinic, defines forgiveness "as a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge.  The act that hurt or offended you may always be a part of your life, but forgiveness can lessen its grip on you and help you focus on other positive parts of our life."

Mary Fairchild defines "forgiveness" as a choice we make through a decision of our will, motivated by obedience to God and His command to forgive.  Bear with each other and forgive whatever you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord Forgave You!

Larry James states, " Forgiving someone else is to agree within yourself to overlook the wrong they have committed against you and to move on with your life. Non forgiveness keeps you in the struggle.  Being willing to forgive can bring a sense of peace and well being.  It lifts anxiety and delivers you from depression.  It can enhance your self esteem and give you new hope."


Alexandra Asseily, author of "The Garden of Forgiveness in Beirut, writes "forgiveness allows us to let go of the pain in the memory and if we let go of pain, in the memory, we can have the memory, but it does not control us.  When memory controls us we are the puppets of the past."

Quotes About Forgiveness:

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner is you"!

Lewis B. Smedes

" The Weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."

Mahatma Gandhi

"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has just crushed it".

Mark Twain

"Always forgive your enemy..nothing annoys them so much."

Oscar Wilde

"Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past."

Alexa Young

"There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness."

Josh Billings

"The glory of Christianity is to conquer by forgiveness".

William Blake

"Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it

forgets revenge and dares to forgive injury".

Edwin Hubbel Chapin

The scriptures tells us in Romans 12:17,19-21 to "repay no evil for evil, and "do not avenge yourselves, but rather give peace to wrath; for it is written, "Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, "says the Lord.  In Ephesians 4:26 we are told "Be angry , and do not sin" do not let the sun go down on your wrath. These scriptures teach about relationships and reconciliation. The Lord tells us that he is the only one who has the authority for vengeance. In some cases of unforgiveness we tend to share our situations with others.  We seem to gain superficial healing by sharing with others our hurts and inability to forgive.  In Ephesians 4:29 Paul  warns us against voicing anger, harsh words ,meanness, and having a bad attitude towards others.  Yes even if its the one who hurt, or abused you!  He says in 4:31 that we have to let bitterness, wrath, clamor, evil speaking be put away.  If we do not let it go and continue with such behavior we "grieve the Holy Spirit."(Ephesians 4:30)

Why Is Forgiveness So Difficult?

In most cases there has been a situation in which someone has done something awful against you or a member of your family.  It could have been betrayal of a unfaithful husband or boyfriend.  It could be sexual exploitation or sexual abuse by someone you trusted.  It could be a past boss or employer who discriminated against you because of your sex or race.  It could be the drunk driver who killed a loved one in a auto accident.  Maybe it was a church who didn't seem to appreciate your service and seemed to have favorites.  Please add your on personal story or stories to this list.

How Did Your Incidents Make You Feel?

 Emotional Bondage!
Emotional bondage is a condition that is self directed and self nurtured.  Your past experiences becomes a mental tape recording that often replays without you consciously hitting the on button.  There may be a trigger, such as seeing the person, experiencing a similar or familiar situation, or hearing about a similar incident.  You become a prisoner of your past, which has an adverse affect on your present which may control your future.


Unforgiveness Can Be Contagious!
I am a father of 6 children, 4 girls and 2 boys.  If someone mistreats, abuse or hurt any of my children, it is the same as doing it to me.  If one of them shares with me an incident that has cause them emotional or physical harm, I can find myself having strong negative feeling towards those who hurt them.  This sense of anger, hate, rage, and need for revenge can permeate throughout the entire family.  We have one enemy who has now negatively affected 6-10 people.  Now we have 10 people living outside the will of God.  1 John 3:15 says whosoever hated his brother is a murder.  Yes but does John understand that this person deserves to be hated? Yes he does, and it doesn't matter. We have given up our control to someone else who is some where enjoying life, dead or may not even remember what s/he has done!

We Are Only Human, How Does God Expect Us To Forgive Those Terrible People?
First Jesus Himself set the example of forgiveness in Luke 23:34 when Jesus was on the cross suffering great pain and humiliation at the hands of the Roman soldiers.  After all he had been thorough he looked up to heaven and said," Father forgive them, for they do not know what they do."  Well yes Larry that was Jesus, but I am not Jesus.  Well what about Stephen in Acts 7:55-60 who was filled with the Holy Spirit, was being stoned to death by his religious enemies.  Stephen cried out to the Lord for strength then said in a loud voice, " Lord do not charge them with this sin." And when he said this, he fell asleep.  We call this a dying declaration. If Stephen can forgive we can forgive, for he was mere human just like us.

Jesus Attempts To Prepare Us Like Stephen.
The Disciple Stephen was chosen as one of the first "Deacons" because he had a good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit, faith, power, and wisdom.  With these qualities his enemies were not able to resist the wisdom and Spirit by which he spoke.  He was able to exercise all the gifts God had given him.  We can learn from Stephen that the Lord has given us the blue print for Christian character building so that  when we are faced with the need to forgive we can.  Remember Stephen was a mere mortal just like us.

The Blue Print Of Christian Character:
The cornerstone of our Christian Character is based on "love".  In Matthew 22:37-40 Jesus says that the great commandment is that "we shall love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul, and with all our mind." And He went on to say that the second is like it: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." In I Corinthians 13 Paul gives a brief description of fruits of love.  He says, "Love is patient, love is kind, and it is not jealous, love does not brag, not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoice in truth, bears all things, endures all things, and love never fails.
Then Jesus gave the disciples the famous sermon on the mount better known as the Beatitudes.  The Beatitudes is taken from the Latin (beatus) meaning blessed or happy.  These are blessings of divine favor bestowed upon a person resulting from the possession of a certain character quality.

Blessed are the poor in spirit! (character)

Their spirit has a need for God

For theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (reward)

Blessed are those who mourn, (character)

a deep sorrow for ones sin, want to repent

For they should be comforted. (reward)

Blessed are the meek. (character)

a submission to Gods authority

For they shall inherit the earth (reward)

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, (character)

a driving passion for Christ to be filled

For they shall be filled. (reward)

Blessed are the merciful, (character)

The ability to forgive, kindness, compassion

For they shall obtain mercy (reward)

Blessed are the pure in heart, (character)

a inward holiness, cleansing

For they shall see God (reward)

Blessed are the peacemakers, (character)

Reconciled to God through Christ 2 Corinthians 5:19-20

the ability to forgive

For they shall be called sons of God. (reward)

Blessed are those who are persecuted for

righteousness sake,

For theirs is the kingdom of heaven

As we see if we can develop these blessed character traits we would be  better able to deal with the issue of forgiveness.  The second stone in the building of Christian character is the fruit of spirit.  Most Christians are so busy searching for spiritual gifts such as healing and speaking in tongues that they loose sight of the true fruits of the spirit.  The fruits of the spirit provide proof that one is filled with the Holy Spirit.  We can always judge a tree by the fruit it bears.  We all proclaim to be Christian Trees!  Paul says in Galatians 5:2-26 "But the fruit of the Spirit  is love, joy, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.  If we don't show these qualities then we must not be filled with the spirit no matter what we profess.  Paul later says in Gal 6:1-2 Brethren if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness...  This is telling us that we who proclaim to be spiritual should not be pulled into conflict and discourse with others.  We are to be peace makers. 

We then must assume that Stephen had all these qualities thus was able to forgive those who were in the act of murdering him!

Part II will be posted soon.  If you are new to this site, I invite you to read some of the older published post.  Go to bottom of this page and click on Older Post.  If you enjoy, please share with others.

Thanks for your time!

How Will My Faith Affect My 2014?

      I have written down a few thoughts about our spiritual journey.  To many this may sound like more of my ramblings, but I hope that this may have some meaning for someone who reads it. In advance please excuse and spelling or grammar mistakes because my mind is racing and my fingers are trying to keep up.
   The age old existential question of who am I, and where am I going often surfaces when we are facing the milestones of a new year.  It's time to take an retrospective review of the past year with all the resolutions and promises that we made to the Lord, ourselves and others.  How many of them came to completion and how many went by the wayside?  Are we a better person spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, physically, relationally, than you were January 1, 2012?  Did I stick to my goals, if not what happened?  what will be different this year?
    When I realized that I was a child of the Lord, and made in His image, the question of who I am was answered.  Yes, I realize I am the son of Ella Mae and Ben Washington and through DNA and nurturing, have many of their qualities both physically and behaviorally.  I learned from my earthly parents, my introduction to God, the value of honesty, hard work, trust, personal responsibility, and sense of family.
     When I accepted Christ it was out of fear of going to hell.  I perceived this experience as a great decision with everlasting consequences.  I did not view the scriptures as having any value past saving me from the fires of hell. I was not that interested in studying the bible, and never really learned anything in adult Sunday School Classes.  I was a college graduate and accustomed to a certain style of teacher student relationship as it pertained to presentation of subject matter and inquiry.  The Sunday school books and many teachers were not, in my opinion, conducive to learning the depth and breath of scriptures.
     My thirst for bible knowledge came from my reading of books by Norman Vincent Peale and Robert Schuller.  These were very positive books that talked extensively about the concept of 'Faith.'  What was this faith thing I wondered.  The writers gave scriptures references that addressed the definition and the practical application of faith.  I began to read the bible about faith and was taken back by it's practical application potential. The more I read the more I found comfort, compassion and strength in the words and promises.  It was this knowledge of faith that gave me the confidence to seek out and apply to a doctorate program and continue my education. I truly believed that I could do anything through Christ who strengthen me.  Having faith is to believe that the Lord will do what he promises and is responsible for any and all outcomes.  A guy with a low GRE score had the nerve to apply to a PhD.d program. I applied and was admitted  to the Humanistic Psychology Institute in 1981. I found the work, especially the writing requirement, very difficult. I had very famous professors who had published many psychology text books and articles.  I did not complete my dissertation and never graduated, but the experience was fulfilling, because many of my professors saw me as a very bright student with much potential thus changing my own perception of myself and my abilities.  The Lord had opened this door and I entered it with all my perceived academic liabilities.  Some 24  years later I enter seminary and successfully earn my Doctor of Philosophy in Christian Counseling!  It does not matter how long it takes as long as the goal is achieved!
    I realized that I live in two parallel worlds, one that is invisible and one that is visible.  Most of my focus has been on the visible world, which is terminal, and neglected the invisible world which is eternal.  My only connection with the invisible (spiritual) world is when I allow myself to disengage and downplay the visible (material) world.  My daily attention , by education and training, is focused on work, family, church, success, fame, and getting ahead in life. All these are things that makes one successful in the visible world.  The majority of our education, training, and socialization is geared to our success in the visible world.  It almost seems impossible to be simultaneously successful in both worlds.  Did not the scriptures tell us that we are in the world, but not of world?  Another scripture tells us that we can't serve two masters at the same times, for we will love one and despise the other.  How are we to go about our daily earthly duties and still be connected spiritually?  There seems to be 3 types of Christians that I have encountered. The first is the Christian whose religion has no impact on other aspects of their lives because they keep their faith separated from other aspects of their daily lives. The second type of Christian attempts to integrate their faith into their relationships, jobs, social lives, through prayer,and testimony.  The third type of Christian has Christ as the core of who they are, the essence of their being. The way they talk, walk, think, love, embodies their faith and love of Christ.  These folks are living epistles.
     I guess, like Solomon, I now realize that those things can cause stress, anxiety, manipulation, all those qualities opposite of 'spiritual fruits.'  Once I allowed myself to distance myself from the material and embrace the spiritual, I began to find favor with God and Man.  Having Faith that what the Lords promises will really work and can be practically applied to every challenge of life will set you free.  Kierkegaard says that for most of us to trust in the Lord is " a leap of faith."  It's a big jump from talking, proclaiming and actually becoming dependent on faith. Faith is difficult because it defies logic and reasoning.  Alan Watts once wrote a book called the "Wisdom of Insecurity." Many things said by Christ are paradoxical statements such as "If you cling to your life, you will loose it, but if you give it up for me, you will find it." Alan Watts states, "unless a grain of corn falls into the grown and die, it remains alone.  But if it dies, it brings forth much fruit." So a paradox is a "figure of speech which seems contradictory to accepted reason or logic.  We Christians like to cling to beliefs and tradition, but faith lets go. Aldous Huxley coined the idea of "Law if Reverse Effort," which says the harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed." Paul in Romans 7:18-21 says no matter how hard he ties he does what he does not want to, and the good he wants to do he does not. Then we read in scriptures the parable of the Talents. The Lord rewarded those who took risk, in faith, with his resources.  The one who was afraid to take a risk,  hide the talents so he would not upset the Lord..  The others had invested and realized a profit so the Lord gave them the frighten one talents.  The very thing the one who hide his talents feared most.  There are some who call this phenomena 'Self Fulfilling Prophecy.'
     We who are called Christians evangelize by two methods and they are precepts and example. We impress people more by what we do than what we say.  To be a mature Christian Christ has to be the core of who you are.  It is all about having a personal relationship with Him.  You have a personal obligation to get to know Him, talk to Him, listen to Him, and praise Him. This obligation and responsibility can not be designated or passed off to a Pastor or Preacher.
     Someone said many years ago that religion was a opiate of the masses.  I was highly offended when I read this as a college student.  Now after many years I can understand what he may have been alluding to.  An opiate gives you a false feeling of utopia, a unreal perception of reality, a continent to remain in one's current state.  This is the state that many Christians are in when don't take advantage of all the possibilities that the scriptures offer.  These are the one's that are satisfied with the emotional high of Sunday services, but continue live in the rut of lack of education,  non married pregnancies, unemployment, drug abuse, domestic violence, anger management issues, etc. 
     Faith in the scriptures offer one liberty and the ability to change their lives.  I don't understand how someone can trust the Lord with their salvation, but not their finances, relationships, and other aspects of daily challenges!  If I never graduated, unemployed, in bad relationship, looking for a spouse, I would surly give this to the Lord and have faith that he will intervene.  However, one must be reminded that patience and faith goes hand and hand.  The Lord operates in the spiritual (invisible) world were today,yesterday, and tomorrow don't exist. 
     The scriptures says that ' A good man provides for his children's children.' The Jewish tradition was to sit and teach oral tradition of the culture, and men taught their sons skilled trades.  All six of my children are saved and very successful in their careers.  This is the result of  a praying mother who was the spiritual leader until the father (me) came around.  Then the father became emerged into the breath and dept of scriptures resulting in a strong spiritual team providing the children wise counsel.
     It is time to be all you can be through the Holy Spirit who counsels, guides, directs, and acts as a intercessor to the Father.  The only time that we have contact with the spiritual world is through the Holy Spirit that dwells within us.  Just like a automobile travels faster and further on a full tank, so the Christian when s/he is full of the Spirit!  This year lets work on subduing our ego, and pride, so the Holy Spirit can really use us.  Lets try to be spirit filled at least 50% more per day.  In order to achieve this we must be attentive, reading, meditating, and praying constantly.  If we have applying faith we will please the Lord.  Let us do everything in love with love!

God Bless and Amen